A while ago, Emma Watson stated she was self-partnered: being a very happy single person. It kind of seemed to surprise people. Not only the term but also that she was so openly happy about single. As a single person myself I completely understand, but it seems like people still think we’re supposed to be living for relationships. There are actually so many good reasons to be single and spend time dating yourself, and today I’m going to be diving into that.
If you go outside, you’d think that to be alone is to be incomplete. They even call it ‘finding your missing piece’. But doesn’t that make it sound like you’re not a whole person until you find someone else? Like you’re not good enough by yourself? I like to think that being in a relationship is something complimentary to your life. It adds something to it, but without it, your life would still be complete.
I believe that dating yourself will help you understand who you are. This, in turn, will give you a better foundation when you are dating someone else. It is a lot easier not to lose yourself in a relationship when you have a strong idea of who you are as a person. It also allows you to look deeper into yourself and get more in touch with your intuition and your own thoughts.
Like I said, a lot of good reasons to date yourself for a while. Here they are.
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1. It really helps build self-confidence
It might be scary to take yourself on a date. Will people stare at you? Will they laugh behind your back? What could go wrong? They might point at you and make jokes.
Trust me when I say that none of that will happen. People probably won’t even notice you’re by yourself, or they might find it brave because they think they could never do that.
I have had so many people tell me they could never do the things I do by myself. Dating yourself gives you the courage and confidence to go out by yourself and be completely fine.
You don’t need someone else to have a good time!
2. To get more comfortable with your own thoughts
I think it’s safe to say most of us are uncomfortable with silences because we are uncomfortable with our own thoughts. But when you’re spending so much time by yourself, silence is part of the deal.
Being alone with your thoughts becomes a regular occurrence, and you learn to be okay with them.
Try to keep distractions to a minimum in terms of technologies/books, and just be alone with yourself.
3. You can do whatever you want!
One of the best parts of going on dates by yourself is that you can do anything you want. No compromising, no: ‘where do you want to go? No, where do you want to go?’.
You go wherever you want and do whatever you want. That also includes exploring that interest you have always repressed. Going to the lecture that seems interesting, trying a new restaurant or taking the time to go shopping.
4. You will become more independent
Because when you’re on your own, you have to rely on yourself. This ties in with the self-confidence. By solving problems that may come up, finding your own way home even if you’re far from it and trying new things by yourself, you will become more independent.
As you only have yourself to lean on, you have no choice. This is definitely something that grows when you’re moving more out your comfort zone and further away from your usual places.
You’ll also find it easier to go somewhere you want to go, even if you can’t find someone else to go with you.
5. To know yourself and your preferences better
By trying out many different things, you’ll get to know your own preferences. So next time someone asks where you want to go or eat, you’ll have an answer for them.
You’ll start to learn how you like to spend your time even better than before, and get to know new favorite places around your city or country.
6. To love yourself first
Then, no matter what happens with the relationship, you will be fine by yourself because you’re not relying on someone else.
7. To learn to treat yourself well
How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others treat you.
That doesn’t have to mean that you go out to the most expensive restaurants by yourself, but it means you get to treat yourself every once in a while, depending on your budget.
Furthermore, by setting the standard to spend time with yourself, you show that you value and prioritize yourself.
8. Because you can
And because why not?
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So I hope you see the value in dating yourself and are willing to give it a go. It has been so good for me, and has allowed me to go to so many places and see things I wouldn’t have if I were still waiting for someone to come with me. Sometimes you have to take a leap and go for it. It is easier to start small and work your way up, so here is a list with some ideas!