Over the last year or two, there has been an incredible rise in life coaches. I myself am a certified life coach as well, so I can only support this. I think it is so good to talk to someone about the things that are going on in your life. A life coach is not trained in your psychological state, but can help you work through some issues you’re dealing with.
As I was reviewing the study materials I have from when I was working towards my certificate, I realized I can also share some information with you so you can work on your own problems as well. Therefore today, I’m going to help you be your own life coach!
This is definitely going to contain some of the tips and tricks I got in my training, so you will be getting the inside info to really be your own life coach.
sidenote: if you would love some extra help, head over here to truly reach your full potential.
What does it mean to work with a life coach?
This question is best answered by the most well-known life coach around, Tony Robbins. He defines a life coach as follows:
A coach helps you grow by analyzing your current situation, identifying limiting beliefs and other potential challenges and obstacles you face and devising a custom plan of action designed to help you achieve specific outcomes in your life.
Being a life coach is not just about listening to someone’s problems. Of course, we need to realize the problem in order to work through it, but there is a lot more going on here. A life coach is trained to listen to the words you say, look at the way you use your body when you speak, and pick up on any other verbal and nonverbal cues. Now, of course, this would be quite difficult to do with yourself, so in order to be your own life coach, it is essential that you are honest with yourself.
Also note that whether you’re working with a professional or you are trying to be your own life coach, usually it takes more than one session to fix your problems. Problems can be very complex, and there are usually several layers to them. Therefore I recommend you to be honest, be patient and keep working on them.
Session 1
So you want to start your first session with a lot of paper and a pen. If you want to be your own life coach, you are going to write everything down. Saying things out loud is one thing, but it becomes more real when you write them. When you’re working with a real coach, they will say things back to you and rephrase what you are saying. You are going to write things down and read them back.
The goal
First, you need to decide what the goal is. What do you want to achieve with this coaching? What problem do you want to be solved? Is there something going on in your private life you want to resolve, or maybe something at work has been bothering you? It could be that you have noticed some of your behaviours isn’t as you’d ideally want to behave so you want to work on that. No matter what it is, write it down. Just put your pen to paper and start writing for a couple of minutes. Don’t think about it.
Next, read what you wrote. Is there any way you can summarize this in one sentence? It’s easiest when you can put your goal into a single sentence, but 2 or 3 is okay as well. Ideally, you can put your goal into a SMART format (specific, measurable, acceptable, realistic, time-limit).
sidenote: if you would love some extra help, head over here to truly reach your full potential.
Your reality
Once you have written your goal in one or two sentences, start writing about your reality. What is your current reality around this problem? What is going on, how do you feel about it, is there anyone else involved? Stay focused on the problem and don’t get sidetracked. If anything unrelated pops up, write it down on a different sheet of paper to review at a later time.
Now if you have written that there are other people involved, go back to that. Are they really involved? Does this problem really concern them? It could be that you are involving or blaming other people because you don’t want to bear the responsibility on your own. But sometimes, that is exactly what we need to do in order to move forward.
Be real and don’t back down. Honestly, this is hard work and only works if you make an effort. One important skill you need to be your own life coaching is to not fall for your own excuses. If you are getting emotional or want to stop, know that you have reached an important point and if you want to break through, you need to keep going. This is difficult to do on your own, but it can definitely be done. Don’t be afraid to cry or scream if that’s what you feel like doing. It probably means there is something that must be healed or released, and your emotions are guiding you.
Your options
When you know your problem and what is holding you back, you can start looking at the things you can do to solve this problem. Maybe you want to try implementing habits, working on positive self-talk, implement regular self-care, books you want to read or something else you have thought of. Perhaps you can show more empathy towards others or let go of your anger. Maybe you can do some googling to see what other people have done for a similar problem.
There are no dumb answers here. Anything you think can help, write it down. This is where you think in possibilities and options, and let go of all limits. Don’t hold back and don’t stop yourself. Write all the things you think could improve your situation or help you see things differently.
sidenote: if you would love some extra help, head over here to truly reach your full potential.
Your what
Review all the options you wrote down. Which ones seem doable and which ones raise resistance? We want you to succeed here, so start with the things that seem like you could do them. Schedule them if possible/necessary, and put reminders in your phone for when you’re going to do them. Order any supplies you might need and make any other preparations you can to make sure you follow through with your options.
You’re done!
Now remember, any problem is likely not going to be solved in one hour or one sessions. You are going to have to keep working on this, and keep pushing yourself to explore different options and feelings to break through your boundaries and improve your life.
One of the most important things in life coaching is that you must always look at yourself. It is nice to say “he made me feel…” or “she always does that and it makes me feel so …” but the reality is that you’re not going to be able to prevent those people from doing whatever they do. The key is to make sure you can deal with those things in the future and in order to do that, you need to figure out why their actions had that effect on me.
If you would love to take these steps but need some help, let me help you out!
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