Find out what you want, be that girl for a monthTaylor Swift
If you’re reading this, you’re probaly looking to reinvent yourself. To be your best self. And you are not alone. As humans, we always want to improve upon our current self.. Not only from personal motivation, but we are also being pushed externally. From everyone asking about your new year’s resolutions to your work or school wanting you to create a personal development plan.
Improvement is part of being human, and one of the reasons we’re still alive as a species. The psychologist Alfred Adler called it ‘striving for superiority’, and stated we have an internal drive to improve.
But even though that internal drive may be there, it isn’t always easy. Especially with all the other things we have to do nowadays, and all the distractions in our lives, personal development has taken a backseat in our lives.
Fortunately for you, this is the post that will help you reinvent yourself. You can learn how to reinvent yourself and be your best self with the information in here.I have answered the most common questions and written down a 5-step plan so you can learn how to be your best self every single day.
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What does it mean to reinvent yourself?
To reinvent yourself means you want to change who you are. Maybe you’re a very careful, shy person but you want to be outgoing and spontaneous. Or more of a risk-taker. Maybe you want to change directions in life and feel like you should change as a person as well.
When you want to fully reinvent yourself, realize that this new you has to be something you can keep up with. If you want to be someone who works 80 hour weeks, but inside you know you need downtime and proper sleep, that may not be the best combination for the longer term. But if you want to be outgoing while you’re currently shy, that’s a bit more feasible.
Keep in mind who you are now and who you want to be, and find a way to make that work in the long term.
What does it mean to be your best self?
Being your best self means that you want to improve who you already are. You may want to be kinder. Spend more time learning something. Be more helpful, spontaneous, relaxed, dedicated, anything. Your best self literally means the best version of who you already are.
Being your best self is easier to keep up in the long term because it is more of you who already are. Changing something fundamental about yourself can be difficult, but being more of you is a bit easier.
How do I find my best self?
Finding your best self might sound really intimidating, and at first, it probably is. Maybe you have an idea of who they are already, but maybe you have no clue. You know you’re not too happy with your current self, and you’d like to change or improve upon this person.
If you already have an idea, get writing. Write down everything you already know about your best self.
If you have no clue, or you’ve written down everything you know but want to get more detailed, there are some tips listed for you down below.
One note before we start…
Wanting to be your best self has nothing to do with loving who you are now. I want to encourage you to love yourself no matter where you are in the process of life, and be happy and grateful for the person you are becoming.
If you are struggling with loving yourself, please check out this workbook I made especially to help you love yourself more.
How can I be my best self every day?
1 Assess your current situation
To know where you’re going and how to get there, you have to understand where you are now.
So describe yourself as you are right now. Who are you now? What do you want to improve or change about yourself, and why?
Understanding where you are now and why you want to change will make it a lot easier to keep going. This will also help you see whether your idea of your new you is realistic or may need some altering.
Changing yourself takes serious commitment, and the more transparent and honest you are here, the more likely you are to succeed.
2 Decide who you want to be
Like I said before, you can’t start doing this without having a good idea of where you want to end up. Here are some tips if you’re not sure how your best or new self will be.
Look at other people for inspiration
- It is often said that other people are our mirror. The way we react and interact with others tells us about ourselves as well. Think of people you admire, and people you don’t like. Write down exactly what you admire or don’t like about them. Then think; is this a trait I would like to possess?
For example, in uni i’d get annoyed by the girl who always had the answer. She’d always share her opinion, and always spoke up. She always seemed to know what she was talking about and got good grades.
After about 2.5 years of being annoyed I read this thing about other people being our mirror. So I thought about it, and realized that I got annoyed by her behaviour because I wished I were more outspoken and had a better grasp on the material.
- Think of who you were when you were a child. Like between the ages of 5-10. What were you like? If you look back now, is there anything you did back then but don’t do now? Would you like to get that back?
When I was struggling with myself I realized I was always so happy and giggly as a child, and I wasn’t like that anymore. So I decided to be that girl again, the one who was always smiling at everything and fluttering through life like a little butterfly.
- Also think about who you wanted to be as a child. When we’re young we always have ideas and images of who we’re going to be when we get older. Does that image still appeal to you? Do you think you’re on your way there or have or did you get sidetracked?
- What are your values? What do you think is important in life, and what isn’t as much? Does your behaviour reflect that?
3 Reflect on your past behaviours
It is time to understand why you haven’t succeeded before. I am willing to bet that this isn’t the first time you are trying to reinvent yourself, or try to be your best self, which means that the other times didn’t last.
But why didn’t they?
Did you shoot for the moon? Were you not willing to give something up? Were you not committed enough? Were there different circumstances?
Try to write down why you haven’t succeeded before. What happened, and why didn’t it last?
4 Make a game plan
Now that we have a current and an ideal image, it’s time to get real. Reinventing or improving yourself isn’t a one-step program and takes more effort than snapping your fingers. Look at your current self and your ideal self and see what steps you’d need to take to go from one to the other.
Write down everything you would have to do to become that ideal person. Would you have to stop eating candy completely, stop eating out, work out 5 days a week, be nice to every single person you meet, buy a new wardrobe? Look at the differences between your current and ideal self, and how you can bridge that gap. Then break the differences down into small steps. This is a process, so it’s fine if it takes longer.
For personality changes, it is easiest to be your best self or your new self every day by focusing on habits, personal policies and self awareness. You can also try setting yourself a challenge.
Creating habits is one of the best ways to implement new behaviour. Even better if you link them to existing habits, for example doing 5 squats every time you go to the bathroom, or doing lunges while you brush your teeth.
Personal policies are basically rules or guidelines you set for yourself. I have a post on them written here, and I recommend that you do. They will give you freedom, but help you protect yourself and your improvement.
I personally also love reading books to keep me inspired, motivated and accountable. These are my favorite self help books to read when I need a little extra push.
Self awareness will help you create that long term change. Essentially, you want to ask yourself at the end of every day/week/month what you were proud of, what things you would’ve done differently if you could, how you handled things etc. By reflecting on our behaviour we can see where we can improve or what we’d like to change. I’ll have a post on self-reflection up very soon, so keep an eye out for that!
5 Set yourself up for success
Finally, we want to set our lives up for success. You have determined the steps you need to take to reinvent yourself, now it is time to adjust your life accordingly. If you want to drink more water, get a reusable water bottle that fits your needs. If you want to move more, get yourself a good pair of shoes. If you want to eat healthier, look online for new recipes and create a meal plan.
Fail to plan = plan to fail.
Easy, small changes can make a big difference in achieving your goals. Write grocery lists and don’t go to the store hungry. Find a workout you like. Read a book on how to be kinder to other humans. Sort out your closet to only have clothes that fit your desired image and you feel good in.
Take that idea of who you want to be, and keep moving forward to that person. It’s not about making a big leap in a short amount of time, it is about making shorter leaps in a bigger amount of time.
Huge leaps will often do more damage than good, as we are prone to self sabotage. If you go from not working out at all, to hitting the gym every day for an hour, you’ll probably burn yourself out within 2 weeks and give up. Find the balance between where you are now and where you want to be, and take steps forward. Don’t chuck out your whole wardrobe, but replace pieces one by one. Don’t delete all your current contacts, instead find people you really connect with and talk to them more and more. Slowly fade from one ‘you’ into the next ‘you’.
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So now I hope I have given you some good guidelines on how to reinvent yourself and be your best self. It doesn’t have to be super hard, but it will take a bit of time. Progress is better than perfection, and it’s completely fine if this takes you a bit longer than you might have hoped. You’re in this for the long run. Still, it is also absolutely fine if you change your mind on one of your goals, or change your idea of your perfect self. Life is evolving and so are we. Try your best, enjoy the process and keep that growth mindset going!
Have you tried to reinvent yourself? Or to be your best self? How did it work out? Let me know in the comments!
If you liked this post, check here for all the posts on personal development. If you are looking for more content to start the new year off right, take a look at these posts!